"My Support"
Being born into a large family of sisters I grow up surrounded by others who always having someone around to help me with one thing or another. Helping me with my homework to French braiding my hair. I didn’t realize how important that support was until I moved from the East coast to the west coast with my husband and four year old daughter. It was a very exciting and adventures time for us. Leaving behind the home, family and friends that was my life for half of my life. No longer having the support I had come to expect was shocking. Having one of my sisters stop in so that I could go to the market while my daughter was napping was a thing of the past. No more dropping her off at my older sister’s house for Friday night date night. No more calling one of my sisters every morning to see whos house we were having coffee at. No more stopping by my Aunt's house after church for dinner or dessert. To make matters more tring my husband's work schedule requires him to be away from home 24-72 hours at a time, and often requires him to work on holidays. We quickly learned to depend on each other. I would never have been able to make it with out my husband constant support. Setting up my morning coffee, leaving for work a little earlier on Sundays so that he can surprise me with a copy of the local news paper. Keeping me company on the phone while I wait for my teenager to get home. And always tell me I can do whatever I set out to do.
I had to decide what to do now that I didn't have a all ready made supportive environment around me. I had to decide it didn't matter where I am, I can create a supportive environment. Understanding that a supportive environment can be people, or it can be things that I surround myself with making my living or work environment supportive.
Creating a supportive environment to assist me in my journey of personal growth. I also learned that I needed to create a supportive environment by being selective about the things that I feed my mind with like books I read, television I watch and web sites I visit.
24 years after that first move I have several factors within my daily environment that supports me and gives me strength each day.
Lilliane,
ReplyDeleteSupport systems in out daily lives are so important. That had to be really tough moving away from all your support systems and adjusting to a new life, new house, new job and less time with your husband. I cant imagine not living near my parents. In my almost 28 years I have lived with them for like 25 of them not counting the 1.5 yrs I was away getting my Bachelors degree. Im glad I live with them because they are pretty much all I have but at the same time I cant believe i still live with them. Its good that you and your husband learned to lean on each other, thats one of the things that makes marriages last. Thank you for sharing your story!
Lilliane,
ReplyDeleteThe word Faith on your first picture says it all. To move across the country, leaving all your familiar supports takes faith that you will be okay. It's hard to adjust to not having those "perks" that come with having those built in supports. The greatest thing about having faith is knowing God will supply you with other supports. They can't take the place of the supports you left behind, you just add them to your support system.
I understand how difficult it can be to lose a support system. I went through a difficult divorce 8 years ago. We had tried for several years to work on our marriage. To me it became very apparent there was not anyway we could continue. In hindsite I made the mistake of keeping up appearances of the happy family, so for most people it was a shock we were divorcing. I lost most of my friends because they did not understand the situation. My family lived in several different states, miles and miles away. I had to start all over again, with few supports. I made it through with the help of one good friend, my sister who was over 1200 miles away, and lots of faith. Her daily phone calls to check on me are what helped me get through it all and begin my journey of getting to know myself again. I don't know how I could have made it without her and my faith.
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