GO TEAM!

When I thought about the groups I have been a member of I found that although the groups were coming to an end I was still able to be remain in contact with the other  members therefore I did not think about the impact of the group dispersing had on me.  I did come to realize that most of the groups I was involved with were mandated by work.  Signing up to participate on a committee to assist with a fundraiser for the school I was employed at.  These types of groups had a specific function, making me a part of a team (O’Hair and Wiemann, 2009, pp.229-30).  We had a goal and a dead line that had to be met.  It is necessary for this type of groups to develop through the five specific stages: forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning (O’Hair and Wiemann, 2009, pp.233-35).    For example this month we held a valentine graham fundraiser.  The team has been meeting once a week since January.  We discussed how the event did in the past years, how it was done, what worked, what did not work, who was going to do what this year and what deadlines we would have to meet.   We just held our last meeting before the big event.  Yet I have spoke seen and spoke to everyone that was on that team with me more than once already.  I consider this group as a high-performing group because everyone did their part and together we got the job done.  I would be happy to work on a team with this group again.  I did not find it hard to leave.      

The team I found hardest to leave was my women church group.  It was a time in my life when I felt lonely and depressed I was new in town and my husband was spending a lot of time at work.  We were a group of about five sometimes six women.  No real agenda or specific function (O’Hair and Wiemann, 2009, pp.233-35).     But we were a We went to the movies, met for coffee and desert, and discussed books.  Sure we did things to help the community collecting coats, do donate, helping at the bake sale but mostly just being there for each other.  When the year came to an end we were each headed in different directions in life, retiring, moving closer to be with grandchildren even divorce.  I may have had the hardest time saying good bye to the group because it was a social role for me (O’Hair and Wiemann, 2009, pp.246).  Perhaps I knew I would not see them again.    

Conflict Management

This week we are holding parent teacher conference.  A letter, email and phone call have been made to assured every parent signs up for a conference time that works for them.  I also sent home reminders of the date they signed up for.  To much hand holding?  I have to know I did my part. 

I had two conferences that I was particularly nervous about one because from what I can assess the student is not progressing academically.  The parents of the student do not attend school activities and do not respond to my emails.  I often have to speak to them while they are rushing in and out the classroom.  The second conference is for a student that is not progressing academically or emotionally.  These parents I see on regular bases however mom often cries when I bring things to her attention.

            Conference number one is a know show.  I’m anger, “if they don’t care why should I!”  Because I do care, I leave a message saying how “sorry I am that we were not able to meet” and welcome them to stop by and see me any time.  I decide I will just do the best I can for the student while he is in my care. 

            Conference  number two; I ask mom many questions about what she is exhibiting at home?  Nodding my head, keep silent as long as possible, repeating back some of what she says.    She explains that dad works two jobs; dad is very unhappy and the student attends daycare at her job every Saturday.   All of which she told me that last time I met with her about his throwing objects when he is upset.  The difference this time is I am now taking responsibility for his actions when he is in my care.  I wait for silent, once she realizes I am not saying anything she looks me in the eyes.  I begin my practiced speech, “Tom has shown some behavior this week that I know he is not proud of, a few of the strategies I have been using to help support his learn to control his behavior” is a,b,c.  He feels proud when I give him a thumb up.  Her demeanor seemed to change.  Her shoulders went down, she wiped her nose she almost looked surprised.  I told her if there was anything she thought of that might help to please let me know.  She thanked me as I walked her to the door she hugged me. 

Did I seem cold and uncaring?  Did I make the mother feel like I have heard this all before?  Cause I ad.  Did I just let the parents off the hook?  Did I send the wrong message? 

 I don’t know, and honestly I know longer care. I believe my actions showed that I was focusing on the need (http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3).  I had decided that I had to be on the side of my student(www.thirdside.org) 

 I know what kind of people I want my students to be. I know I want them to be happy, healthy, considerate of others and curious.