This week we are holding parent teacher conference. A letter, email and phone call have been made to assured every parent signs up for a conference time that works for them. I also sent home reminders of the date they signed up for. To much hand holding? I have to know I did my part.
I had two conferences that I was particularly nervous about one because from what I can assess the student is not progressing academically. The parents of the student do not attend school activities and do not respond to my emails. I often have to speak to them while they are rushing in and out the classroom. The second conference is for a student that is not progressing academically or emotionally. These parents I see on regular bases however mom often cries when I bring things to her attention.
Conference number one is a know show. I’m anger, “if they don’t care why should I!” Because I do care, I leave a message saying how “sorry I am that we were not able to meet” and welcome them to stop by and see me any time. I decide I will just do the best I can for the student while he is in my care.
Conference number two; I ask mom many questions about what she is exhibiting at home? Nodding my head, keep silent as long as possible, repeating back some of what she says. She explains that dad works two jobs; dad is very unhappy and the student attends daycare at her job every Saturday. All of which she told me that last time I met with her about his throwing objects when he is upset. The difference this time is I am now taking responsibility for his actions when he is in my care. I wait for silent, once she realizes I am not saying anything she looks me in the eyes. I begin my practiced speech, “Tom has shown some behavior this week that I know he is not proud of, a few of the strategies I have been using to help support his learn to control his behavior” is a,b,c. He feels proud when I give him a thumb up. Her demeanor seemed to change. Her shoulders went down, she wiped her nose she almost looked surprised. I told her if there was anything she thought of that might help to please let me know. She thanked me as I walked her to the door she hugged me. Did I seem cold and uncaring? Did I make the mother feel like I have heard this all before? Cause I ad. Did I just let the parents off the hook? Did I send the wrong message?
I don’t know, and honestly I know longer care. I believe my actions showed that I was focusing on the need (http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3). I had decided that I had to be on the side of my student(www.thirdside.org)
I know what kind of people I want my students to be. I know I want them to be happy, healthy, considerate of others and curious.
I know what kind of people I want my students to be. I know I want them to be happy, healthy, considerate of others and curious. 
Lilliane,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as though you dealt with the situation very nicely. I liked how you waited for the mom to continue. You gave the mom a strategy that works for you and asked for her help. The thumbs up sign to the child is a way to acknowledge the child's positive behavior and seems to be working. It is hard to keep energized when you have given so much. I think the hug was an encouraging sign for you to keep reaching out to the child/family.
Tamara
Parent teacher conferences are always difficult, especially in your situation. I think that in our field, with the younger children, parents seem to disreguard them. I wish parents can understand their importance! Dealing with an issue or concern now at this age can prevent problems once they get into "real"school. Good luck with your situations!! Stay focused..
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